(continued...)

OK, here's what you're supposed to say: "What the ...? Really? Are you serious? How could you not have told me this already?"

Excellent questions. I'll go in order.

Q: "What the ...?"

A: I know, I know...this is a lot to take in at once, but I know what you mean. You are simultaneously shocked and intrigued. I was too, believe me.

Q: "Really?"

A: Yes, really.

Q: "Are you serious?"

A: I am very serious. I quit my life and hitchhiked to Montana to hang out with a man who was claiming to be the return of Jesus.

Q: "How could you not have told me this already?"

A: Well, I wanted to, I really did. I realize that our relationship is based on honesty, and I hope you don't think I was intentionally lying to you by omitting this big, huge, freakishly hilarious chapter of my life.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

I met the man claiming to be Jesus - I even lived in his basement for a while. He told us that the Apocalypse was just around the corner. I believed him. I spent a few years doing this cult thing, then some things happened and I found myself not in the cult anymore.

A few years went by and I started to wonder if all that cult stuff really happened. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? Jesus? In Montana? Holy shit!

As I got some distance from this strange chapter in my life, I would occasionally tell friends about it. Their response was always the same (see above). After a few years of telling the story, and thanks to the promptings of some friends, I decided to write JESUS IN MONTANA: Adventures In A Doomsday Cult, the one-man show.

Then, with the developmental assistance of Lynn Aliya, I performed it in front of people.

JESUS IN MONTANA: Adventures In A Doomsday Cult tells my whole story, from the Southern Baptist rearin', to my rediscovery of Jesus and to my eventual fall from grace. All in one exciting hour. Amazing, huh?

It's a multi-media show, with pictures, graphics, home movies, home audio recordings, all for the purpose of explaining how one goes from lapsed good-little-boy to earnest cult member. And back again.

And it's pretty funny.